arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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