Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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