During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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