She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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