And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
