I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Randomize
