I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
