so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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