i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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