the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
