Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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