Acid is not a monday night drug
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
