Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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