my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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