so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
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