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I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
do nipples grow back?
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