she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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