Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
