her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
love makes seman taste better
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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