at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize