yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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