Umm I'm too high to move.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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