Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
