why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
