currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
