Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
