I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
