wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
