why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
