my mouth tastes like poor choices
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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