My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
