i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
We have so much sex to catch up on
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
