You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
The convent might be a nice break from real life
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize