talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
