the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
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The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
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im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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