about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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