You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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