I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
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