I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
