In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
She needs sedatives and a leash
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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