just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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