I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
