Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
