Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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