i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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