Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
