He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
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u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
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I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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