Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.