What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
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