hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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