I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
