Tell her she can't have a vagina
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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