I think I died a long time ago.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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