Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
wow bdsm is so cute
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
