They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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