nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
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I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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