I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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