guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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