Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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