matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
