Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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