my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
