check it out our google latitudes are spooning
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
