Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize