I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
