Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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